Sunday, April 15, 2012

Have a good healthy heartfelt laugh!

I thank the Goddess that I belong to a religion that has a sense of humor and can laugh at itself.  I know every Pagan knows at least one other Pagan who is the exception to the rule and takes everything WAY too seriously, but I blame societal pressures for people like that.  On the whole, we are a laid-back, intelligent, fun-loving bunch with a wicked and often sarcastic sense of humor, and that can make for some pretty good times.  Who hasn't dissolved into a fit of giggles during circle when the candles/incense keep going out, someone farts, people are dropping things, or a bird flying over poops on the altar?  As it says in Doreen Valiente's "Charge of the Goddess," "Let there be mirth and reverence within you," and "All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals."  Our Gods want us to laugh, because they certainly do it (often at us!)  So here is a collection of Pagan humor that I've put together for all of us to enjoy.  :)

Past posts on my blog with funny stuff:

"Shit New Age Girls Say" (I've probably watches this 20+ times, and I still think it's hysterical.)  http://autumndamiana.blogspot.com/2012/01/watched-it-about-6-times-still-laughing.html

"Lady Pixie Moondrip's Guide to Craft Names" (my all-time favorite, and the link in my other post is broken, so here's a new one):  http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/humor/moondrip.html



From "Everyday Witch A to Z," by Deborah Blake:  

Q:  What's the best thing about Pagan Friends?
A:  They worship the ground you walk on.

Q:  How do you know when it's midnight?
A:  The nine o'clock ritual just started.

Q:  How do you make a witch's martini?
A:  Replace the olive with a toasted nut!





Kissing Hank's Ass:
This is the funniest portrayal of the basic principles of Christianity that I've ever seen.
http://www.jhuger.com/kissing-hanks-ass


Pagan Light Bulb Jokes:
My personal favorites from all over the internet.  (If anyone knows the ACTUAL origin of any of these jokes, please let me know so I can give credit!)

Q:  How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  It's a third degree secret.

Q:  How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  "Let's go see how the Gardnerians do it!"

Q:  How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  "The light bulb is a patriarchal institution."

Q:  How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  What do you want it changed into?

Q:  How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  One, but you have to get them out of the broom closet first.

Q:  How many Discordians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  A blue fish Tuesday.

Q:  How many Fam-Trad Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  "Go ask your OWN grandmother!"

Q:  How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  13.  One to hold the bulb, and 12 to drink until the room spins.

Q:  How many Astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  "Don't ask me now, Mercury is retrograde!"

Q:  How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  Six.  One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that bulbs never burned out before the Christians came along.

Q:  How many Ceremonial Magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  One.  He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q:  How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  None, there is plenty of light coming from the burning churches, thanks.

Q:  How many Techno-Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  If the computer is still working, who cares about the light bulb?

Q:  How many toads does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  One, if you can remember which one used to be the electrician.




"All Dogs Go To Heaven" Church Sign Debate
This was debunked by Snopes.com, but it's still damn funny:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2228641/posts





Favorite Pagan Bumper Stickers:

"Isis Isis, Ra Ra Ra!"
"Switch to renewable energy... Mother Nature will help!"
"Don't preach to me and I won't cast a spell on you!"
"Has your God ever asked you to dance?"
"Witches really ARE green!"
(from azuregreen.net:  http://www.azuregreen.net/)

"Pay no attention to the man behind the pulpit"
"Winter Solstice is the reason for the season"
"It's easy to be open-minded when you're one of the things most people don't believe in..."
"The Bible bans Xmas trees.  Jeremiah 10:2-4"
"No rest for the Wiccan"
"Living on the fringe (organic, unbleached cotton fringe)"
"My dad is older than Wicca"
"I'm so good that when I call the Quarters, I get back change!"
"Fundamentalists are more mental than fun"
"I'm not a born again Christian, I'm a reincarnated Pagan!"
(from cafepress.com:  http://www.cafepress.com/)






1 comment:

  1. The lightbulb jokes are great! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete